rchan: (Gravi -- determined -- sunrise.aoaki.net)
So, I finally decided it was time to start making calls and hunting up a new therapist. I have an appointment with someone on Monday and of course I’m now mildly freaking out about it. My last two experiences with such things have NOT turned out that well. *heavy sigh* But I'm getting really really really tired of living my life through the lens of anxiety. And I'm getting really really really tired of being so fucking tired all the time. I live most of my life feeling exhausted, like I can't budge to do the things I really need to do. And it's frustrating because I keep feeling like I should be able to just kick this thing in the ass and move on. Thing is... it doesn't work that way, does it?

Nipping here now a very long post rambling about the state of my mental health and my hopes for the coming year. )
rchan: (YnM -- extras -- xd_inc)
It's official, guys. I'm going to Canada in November! I have my flights and hotel booked and my tickets bought. I will get to hang out with [personal profile] redjacket and my tumblr friend doh-rae-me and see Aaron Walpole AND Ramin Karimloo play Valjean, and Earl Carpenter play Javert, and Melissa O'Neil play Eponine and Jonathan Winsby play Courfeyrac and I AM JUST SO EXCITED, OK? XD

Also, work has been keeping me hopping... a lot. Which is both good and not good. 6 day, 50-60 hour weeks do NOT sit right with me. At all. I've been running myself into the ground and I'm exhausted. So, I decided to resign from my Saturday morning job. I will not miss it and I am super glad to have finally reclaimed my weekend. ^_^ And the permanent sub job I picked up at a prestigious private school is a way better choice for classroom experience. ;) Also, my boss at the university has asked me to teach two sections of the class I teach next semester instead of one. Which is awesome and comes with more than twice the salary and some side-benefits like vision and dental, but I'm starting to feel like she's looking at me like a cow from whom she's getting free milk. *sigh* I WANT THAT FULL-TIME FACULTY POSITION, DAMN IT. :-P But, in the meantime, this is a step in the right direction, so I guess we'll just have to see.

Anyway, after all this running myself into the ground I've been doing, my friend C invited me to come see a show with her last night. On the one hand, I was exhausted and didn't want to be bothered going anywhere. On the other hand, we hadn't hung out in a while and I haven't been seeing many shows lately and I wanted to go.

So, I went. Thoughts on what we saw (Romeo and Juliet) below the cut. )

There are some good things going on and some people I would highly recommend in their parts, but I'll be the last one to insist you should see Romeo and Juliet. ^_~
rchan: (Hair -- Kacie guitar)
*deep breath* I've been thinking lately... this is not where I thought I'd be this time last year. My life has had some pretty dramatic upheavals in the last 12 months and it has led me down roads that I never thought I'd travel. And it has been one hell of an interesting journey. So, I thought I'd take a brief exploration of the trip, a little comparison of where I've been at Rosh Hashanah's past and present.

Cut for excessive rambling. Hey, it's my LJ, I'll ramble if I want. ^_^ )

*deep breath* In short... I've come a hell of a long way in a year. My life now bears almost no resemblance to my life of last year. And do you know something incredible? I don't miss that old life. That old me was depressed, tremendously overweight, had very few friends and had long since misplaced many of the things she used to love most about herself. This new me feels good, is energetic, has made some awesome new friends because she was brave enough to reach out to them and hold on once she had them, and has discovered and rediscovered a hoard of new hobbies and interests that she'd long since forgotten. She's happy. She has a purpose in life. She feels like she's moving forward into a bright new future when before there was only darkness. I can't even begin to express what an unbelievable feeling that that is. So, though I never thought I'd even think this, much less say it... I'm grateful for my back injury. I'm grateful for this year. Most of all, I'm grateful for my family and my friends, without whom I would never have made it this far.

L'shana Tovah tikateivu v'teichateimu! -- May you be written and sealed for a good year and thank you all so very much!




*coughs* OK, I'm not done. I need to brag about one last thing. ^_^

And I never thought that the single most exciting thing that would happen to me on Rosh Hashanah 5771 would be that I would buy tickets to go see Hair for a sixth time... in New Haven... on October 23rd, 2010. That's right, folks -- I have my tickets!!! :D [livejournal.com profile] zoicite was kind enough to let me bully her into coming with me. I have had butterflies in my stomach and a racing heart ever since I gave the lady on the phone my credit card number. To quote myself... "It's been too long. My heart is too full for words." And to paraphrase from my people...

"Next year in Jerusalem, sure... But next month in New Haven, first!" ;D ;D
rchan: (Hair -- The Pose *_*)
*blissful sigh* So, I thought I'd post a little update for those few of you who actually care about what's going on in my life beyond how many words I've written today. (For the record, that would be zero. :-P I'll see what I can do about that in a little bit. ^_~)

As I'm sure you remember, I went out of work on disability a little more than 7 months ago, now. My bosses decided that they didn't want me back with only partial capabilities and so I've been stuck, unable to go back at all, for all that time. With no income. Naturally, this led to me rapidly blowing through nearly my entire savings. Not. Cool. Regardless of when I did or didn't go back, I was going to need to do something to severely curtail my expenses, the biggest one of which was, of course, my apartment. *sigh* Fortunately, I have a wonderful family. ^_^ My Uncle volunteered to let me live, rent free, on the second floor of his house. That's two rather large sized rooms and a full bathroom all to myself. ^_^ Plus the kitchen downstairs and whatever else of the house I want to use. And since he doesn't really use the front door (which is right in front of the stairs to the second floor), I would even, essentially, have my own entrance.

Sweet deal, right? Of course, I intend to chip in money towards bills and such, but we'll argue out those details later. ^_^ So, my official move date was last Wednesday. And for the record, I must state that the only thing I loathe more than packing is unpacking. O_O It is one monumental pain in the rear -- especially when you're trying to move an entire two bedroom apartment into two rooms and a corner of a kitchen. O_O Not. Cool. *chuckles* Especially when it all has to happen in less than a week because you have company coming. *waves to a [livejournal.com profile] msorange21*

*coughs* But, I digress. ^_^ I basically moved myself and my cat into my old room at my parents' (right across the backyard) while doing all the unpacking, so I wouldn't have him underfoot. But, I was determined to have the vast majority of it done by today so we could spend at least one night here to settle in before my company arrives. (BTW, don't worry, [livejournal.com profile] msorange21, I'm not gonna make you share a room with him -- I love him, but he's an obnoxious little twit overnight and I wouldn't do that to you. He'll sleep with me while you're here. ^_^ Thus why I needed a break from him for one night first. O_o;;;) So, today I finally got the last of the major unpacking done, finished off my laundry, hooked up the TV and rearranged the furniture to my liking. Gabriel and I then spent a very pleasant evening watching ep. 15 of Glee on my laptop in the "living" room/guest room after setting up the new wireless modem for my Uncle's computer. And now that he's thoroughly settled in, I gave him his night-time treats, tucked him in and retreated to my bedroom, where I am now happily curled up in my papazan chair typing this post.

And for the first time in weeks... I feel like I can breathe. *happy sigh* It's a good damned feeling. ^_^

And that, as they say, is that. *waves* Good night, all! Pleasant dreams. ^_^
rchan: (KH -- cloud_myass -- sunrise.aoaki.net)
*sigh* Ah, Berger... you eloquent SOB. *thud*

My Worker's Comp claim has been denied. Lawyers suck. I'm moving in the morning and half my shit is still unpacked. I'm exhausted and hungry and can't settle down enough to do anything. I'm going to be awake until the movers get here at 7 AM, I just know it.


rchan: (Hair -- Woof puppy face)
As [livejournal.com profile] nightsea noted a few days ago when we were talking, I haven't been writing much lately, after a huge spate of months where word flow was never ending. The ironic thing is that her first thought was to wonder what was wrong. She knows me well, my [livejournal.com profile] nightsea does. ^_^ *snugs*

The short version to this very long story is that I'm going to be moving out of my apartment and into my Uncle's house in a few weeks. This is the culmination of a set of circumstances so bloody ridiculous and frustrating that I don't even have the energy to try to detail it for you. Again, the short version is that I've been out on disability for the last 7 months with no income and have been faced with the reality that I may have to leave my chosen profession. I can't get a job that suits what I need to keep my back healthy and the alternative career paths within my field don't want me because I don't have sales experience. *sigh* Which leaves me with the so-appealing choice of going back to school (after 8 f*cking years and a doctorate, damn it) to become something completely different.


And my response to this has been a bit manic. I've had no energy, but at the same time have been completely unable to focus on even the simplest of things. Like watching a damned TV show. Hell, I can't even settle enough to watch things I've DVRed. O_O That's... annoying. To say the least. So, needless to say, writing wasn't happening.

Then a few days ago, I took myself and my writing notebook down to the beach and churned out a few short pages. It wasn't much, but I liked it and I knew where it needed to go in the grand scheme of a larger fic I'm writing. And then there was nothing. Then last night, [livejournal.com profile] msorange21 finally prodded me into editing the next part of a fic that I'm sorta/kinda co-writing with her. You'll note... both of these things I'd written were angst-ridden messes. O_O Well... at least I'm predictable. ^_^ And it is what I do best. ^_^ So, I took a look at the two stories I'm working on: the long one I mentioned (the "wrong" fic of earlier posts ^_^) and a short piece of fluff that was intended to be Berger and Sheila's first meeting at the Jersey Shore. That's the one I wanted to finish, as it's shorter and I haven't posted anything new in a while. Problem was, Sheila was not cooperating. She's not my favorite character and she fights me at every turn. *sigh*

Well, today I finally took one of my favorite author's (Sarah Monette) advice about writer's block and sat myself down and said, "You will finish this thing today. No more excuses. Just do it. If what you planned isn't working, then find another way." I'm in entirely the wrong frame of mind to write full-on fluff. I want to write angst. And I didn't really want to write Sheila... so I wrote Woof, instead. And you know what? 1,536 words later, I have to conclude that it worked. The fic is almost where I want it to be and it feels more like me, now. And just like the closing of Hair feels like the end of an era to me, so the closing of this fic is the end of an era in my ficverse. But you'll have to read it to find out what I mean by that. ^_~

*deep breath* And now I toddle off to hopefully finish this thing and put it to bed in time for my chorale rehearsal tonight. With any luck, I'll finish what I planned to by then, will be able to edit and post when I get back. *crosses fingers*

"Do or do not, there is no try."

Update (6:56 PM) -- 3257 new words total so far for a grand total of 6468. And I think we're nearly done. Won't be able to finish before chorale rehearsal, but I'm damned satisfied with what I did accomplish. ^_^ Hopefully I'll be in the right frame of mind when I get home to finish this sucker. ^_^
rchan: (PoT -- Inui -- 100% success -- lelola)
I'm not sure if the phone call I just finished with was me setting up a job interview or getting asked on a date. I'm also not sure that that's a bad thing.

*chuckles* *shrugs* Oh well, I suppose it depends on whether or not the guy was telling the truth when he said he was single and 62. ^_~
rchan: (Melusine -- ghost stories)
So... I just had a two hour phone conversation with [livejournal.com profile] nightsea, the likes of which we haven't had since high school. ^_^ I miss those sorts of phone conversations. *snuggles a [livejournal.com profile] nightsea* The conversation ranged all the fuck over the place and was unbelievably cathartic. And you know something? Even though my throat is sore (2 1/2 hours of singing + 2 hours of talking will do that to you... O_o;;;)... I feel better, now.

Another dear friend and I talked earlier today and she made a comment likening my current emotional ambivalence to the stages of grief. And you know... she was kind of right. First we have denial... and oh boy, was I ever in denial. For about 4 months, I actually believed that I would be going back to work at the practice I left in December. It didn't dawn on me until about a month ago that that might not be the case. Once it did occur to me, I started saying things like, "Well, even if they want me back, I wouldn't want to go back... because they suck!" That's right: anger. And then I moved through the next few stages in pretty rapid succession: bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Bargaining: Well, even if I don't work here, I can get a job in another practice, right? Or in industry? Or somewhere else, right? Maybe? I know I'm not exactly qualified for those other jobs... but won't someone hire me anyway? Yeah... so far, bust. Depression? Yep. You guessed it -- hit that one the last few days and had it come to a head last night and this morning as I came to the realization that I might have to do something completely different (or at least get some further schooling -- or different schooling entirely :-P) to be happy.

And now... I've started coming to grips with the fact that that might not be the worst thing in the world. And it is just possible that in 2 years when I got back out of school again (assuming that time for a master's degree)... the job market just might be better or I'll at least be more marketable if it's not. Every cloud has a silver lining and all that. ^_^

So, even if I have to move into my parents' basement (almost a certainty at this point), even if I have to go back to school, even if I end up doing something that has nothing to do with being a veterinarian... there are worse things in this world and I certainly can't say that the time I've spent in this profession and training for this profession were a waste. I'd have spent those four years in college regardless. And if I hadn't done what I did, I'd never have known Jess and Tina. I'd have lived the years I was in vet school, too -- only if I hadn't lived them in vet school, I'd never have known Alice D: *gasp* D:, or Lynn or any of my other friends from Kansas all of whom I adore. I'd never have had Lilly. And these last five years? Not a waste either. I've done some good. I've made some friends. I've saved more than a few lives. And Gabriel and Lucky (my nudnik of a cat and my parents basketcase of a dog ^_^) might never have had homes if I hadn't been there. So... it certainly wasn't all bad and it wasn't all a waste. And if I end up leaving it all behind and moving on to a different chapter in my life... well, would that be so horrible? I have a family who loves me and is willing to support me and that is a freakin' awesome thing.

Besides, I'm female. I have a mind so I can change it, right? ^_~

*coughs* Anyway, really just wanted to say... "Feeling better, I think the angsting is done... for now. Thanks for listening. Peace."

rchan: (Danny Phantom -- hate your life)
*sigh* In a somewhat better mental place than last night. Sort of. Meh. Too drained to expound on it.

General query... what do you all do for a living? If I'm starting to think that I'm not going to be a vet, I'll have to do something else... and it occurs to me that I haven't got a clue what else is out there. O_O Now, I'm depressed.

Fandom: Power Rangers
Pairing: Andros x Zhane, TJ x Ashley... and beyond that, I'm not telling. ^_~
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: Total -- 56,556; shortest part is 3866 words, longest is 6831, most fall somewhere in between. I tried to keep them uniform... it just didn't quite break down that way. :-P
Warnings: Slash. Not mine. Don't sue.

Summary: Andros and Zhane have fought many battles together, both with and against each other. And no one can cause you pain like the one you love, a lesson they have to learn the hard way. Add in three other Ranger teams and a long-lost sister and even that lesson won't be easy. Sequel to Taking Root and Forget Me Not.

A Rose By Any Other Name, Part 9 )

Questions, comments, boysenberries?

Coming Soon: Astronema has successfully invaded the AstroMegaship... or so she thinks. She even starts to begin reeking havoc, only to find that it won't be nearly so easy as she thought it would be.
rchan: (YnM -- extras -- xd_inc)
...or not.


Feeling a sudden need for an intense change in my life. I don't know what kind of change... just something.

On second thought... maybe it's not so sudden. For the last two or three years, I've become aware of a growing dissatisfaction with my life. For the first time since graduating high school, I'm uncomfortable in my own skin. It's this odd feeling like something in my life doesn't fit right... and I'm afraid that it's me. There are things that almost make me happy, there are moments of fleeting joy, but they're getting fewer and farther between. That scares me.

I went to school for nine years to learn to be one thing: the only thing that I'd ever wanted to be. I doubted along the way, sure, but never enough to put on the brakes and say, "Wait! Let's think about this for a minute." And now, almost 14 years later... now I'm questioning. This is bad timing, to say the least.

And on top of the questioning is the small matter that I am, for all intents and purposes, out of a job. And I've been dragging my heels about getting a new one, because, as noted, I'm suddenly not sure that what I spent a third of my life learning to do... is actually what I want to do. Leaving me with the small issue of having no job... and no income... and no easy way to rectify that situation.

I feel like I'm getting sucked down inside this thing with no way out. Could I get another job in private practice? Sure. I might have to work shit hours, but the pay would be fantastic. But you see... I don't think that's what I want. Thanks to the last few years, I have a bit of compassion fatigue. Working one on one with clients... it's exhausting my ability to give a shit and I don't like what that's turning me into. But at the same time, I don't want to work for the government inspecting carcasses all day. I don't want to work in academia, because spending my life chasing grant money for research I don't want to do... doesn't exactly thrill me, either. I could work in industry, developing products or selling them... but can we say best of a set of bad choices?

Unfortunately, I don't have an answer. I just don't know where to go from here. And the very thought of doing something completely different (and having wasted a third of my life and a quarter million of my parents' money on schooling that I thus won't be using...) makes my stomach churn to the point that I feel like vomiting or having a panic attack. I wanted this education. I pushed and pushed and fought and fought because I wanted it. And now... I don't. A very large part of me wishes I'd done something else. Because the way I'm feeling right now, it's no more valuable to me than the paper my degree is printed on. And that just blows.


*deep breath*

Well, at least I have chorale tomorrow. That oughta put me in a good mood for a few hours.

*sighs again*



Apr. 11th, 2010 02:20 pm
rchan: (YnM -- Hisoka_bullet -- sunrise.aoaki.ne)
You ever have one of those days where you just want to scrap it and start over?


*wishes hunting for a job would be easier*
rchan: (Hair -- Berger: Mine!)
Short and sweet? Job interview went better than expected. *shrugs* We'll see. ^_^

More importantly? Now 12,131 words into the next Hair sequel!fic. ^_^ And like Berger, I can't seem to keep this one serious for more than 30 seconds. I think I overloaded my angst circuits on the last one. *chuckles* Ah well -- I'm sure they'll recharge eventually. ^_~

And because I can... a snippet. ^_~ )

I just wanted to share that one because it made me giggle and you don't need context to understand it. ^_^ Also, I figured I'd toss you something... because we're already over 12,000 words into this thing... and haven't even gotten to the premiere, yet. O_O So... it may be awhile.

*sheepish grin* Hope you liked!


Feb. 23rd, 2010 10:06 am
rchan: (KH -- cloud_myass -- sunrise.aoaki.net)
My boss is an idiot and I want to see Hair again.


And how the hell did I end up working on a second Hair fic when I hadn't even finished the one I was working on? O_O
rchan: (Melusine -- Done lost count)
Why can I not ever find a job that doesn't suck in some major way? :-P


Well, on a lighter note, I got a writing itch for the first time in a while this morning, so I opened up ARBAON and got to cracking. ^_^

New word counts!

Today's word count: 1,481
Total word count: 50,160

Word #50,000 is... "want". *shrugs* Random trivia. The point of which, is...

*cheers* *throws confetti* I broke 50,000!! *beams* Does it count for NaNo if I started working on it like... 8 years ago? *sheepish grin* I guess not, huh?

Anyway, here's hoping for 50,000 more!

Zhane: *splutters* She's going to drag this out for another 50,000 words?????

Andros: *hangs head* Oh dear G-d, I hope not.


Feb. 17th, 2009 10:12 am
rchan: (YnM -- Hisoka_Subaru -- sunrise.aoaki.ne)
*deep breath*

So. Everyone knows I have a new job. Which, for now at least, I love. ^_^ One of the major differences between this job and the old job is that we have in-house kitties. ^_^ They live in the hospital and *coughs* "help" with all the work. ((We won't point out, of course, how unhelpful it is to have a kitty butt square in the middle of the notes you're trying to write...)) Anyway, our grand total of official hospital cats is 8: Chester -- who's 22 years old and still catching mice!, Tessa, Molly, Pieces, Giuseppe, Sybil, Oscar, and a black cat (whose name I don't remember >.<). We also have two kitties who are roughly 6 months old that we are trying to find homes for: Mootie (who I believe is already spoken for) and a little black kitty (who no one can come up with a name for that will stick ^_^). And yes, that is me in the pictures... O_o;;;

So why is this all important? I'll tell you. As you can see from the pictures, the little black kitty has laid claim to the cushy spot that is my chest (:-P) as a favored resting place. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready for another kitty, but I must confess, I'm getting attached to this one. But, as some of you know, I currently live in a "No Pets" apartment. End of story, right? *chuckles* Wrong. I decided to call my landlord and ask the question -- because if I don't ask, the answer is automatically "No", right? So I called, I explained the situation and listened to her hem and haw. Finally I explained that I wasn't expecting an answer right that moment and understood she'd have to talk it over with her husband and brother-in-law (my other two landlords). She said she would and she'd get back to me -- which is Joanne-speak for, "I'm going to forget we had this conversation 2 seconds after we hang up until you call and remind me three weeks from now."

*sigh* Oh well, you can't win if you don't even play the game, right? It's not as if I was expecting her to say yes.

Which brings me to Sunday. I have a shirt that I used to love -- it's pink/melon colored and stripey and looks pretty good on me. It's also, unfortunately, the last shirt that I held my baby girl in. (It's what I was wearing when I took her to be euthanized.) After her death, I wore it 2 or 3 times a week for ~1 month. Then I just stopped. I put it away and haven't taken it out since. Now, maybe it was guilt over contemplating a new kitty, I don't really know, but for some reason I decided to wear that shirt on Sunday. That day my landlord called me back with the following message: "In answer to your question, I talked it over with my husband and brother-in-law and we all agreed... you can have a cat. We wish you the best of luck with him and go ahead and bring him home."

And the next few minutes went like this: *stares at phone* *plays message again* *stares at shirt* *stares upwards* *chokes up and cries a little* I can take a hint, baby girl. Thanks for realizing I needed your blessing. *wobble eyes* ^_^

*wipes eyes* And so, now I just need to find out how I go about the process of taking him home (would like to neuter him first...), kitty-proofing my apartment (Yikes...) and deciding whether or not I want to move Lilly's cat-trees, etc. back in or just buy him new stuff. On the one hand, that stuff is expensive... on the other hand... it was Lilly's. *sigh*

Oh... and finding a name for the little guy. O_o;;; He's been living in the hospital for the last 1 1/2 months and not one name has stuck. -.-;;; I like the name "Rushlight" (from Uhura's Song -- he was a character from a bipedal feline race and he was the clan bard), but I can't figure out how I would nickname that down for everyday use. And I've been rereading the Dark Visions trilogy. My favorite characters is Gabriel (the dark-haired boy on the cover of Book 2) and it occurred to me that "Gabriel" might not be a bad name... But I can just see the discussion with my mother... "Oh..." *disappointed look* "...isn't that a Christian name? Are you sure you want to name him that?" *me twitch*

*coughs* So, if anyone thinks of any ideas, please let me know. ^_^

*snugs on all*



Feb. 12th, 2009 11:00 pm
rchan: (YnM -- Excuse me -- aoaki_net)
Just when I think that the human race can't get any more callous and unfeeling, they go and prove me wrong. Thanks to a weblog entry by one of my favorite authors, Lynn Flewelling (see her original post here), I just found out that dear Gov. Schwarzenegger is proposing a 9% tax on such "services" as golf, auto repair, Disneyland and veterinary services.


Does anyone see anything wrong with this picture? While golf and Disney are fun and exciting and cars make it easier for us to get around, none of them are living, breathing, feeling entities who rely on the finances of their human mothers and fathers to keep them alive and healthy.

Now, I don't often get up on political soapboxes in my weblog, but I feel in this case that it's warranted. As a veterinarian, I have already euthanized far too many pets in the last year with completely curable illnesses for no better reason than that their human parents couldn't afford the treatment. Now while I realize that stopping the advent of a tax like this won't solve the essential problem of no reliable medical insurance for pets (in my dreams, I know) it certainly would make the underlying problem worse: First, for the sole fact of unnecessarily raising the cost of veterinary medicine (not "services") when so many people are having difficulty affording treatment as it is, and second, by reinforcing the idea that pets are a luxury item -- like a car or a vacation -- that has no intrinsic right to live and be happy.

As someone who's life has been devoted to the care and succor of animals, the whole idea of this thing is repugnant to me. So, if any of you feel the same, I strongly encourage you to do something about it. Because if a proposal like this passes in California, it won't be long before other states hop on the bandwagon and ride it over the cliff.

Snipped from Lynn Flewelling's weblog @ [livejournal.com profile] otterdance:

Alert reader [livejournal.com profile] siarh has tracked down what we can do about it. Thanks!

Simply: 1) Call the Governor's office at 916-445-2841

2) Select your language choice. Press "1" for English.

3) Press "5"

4) Press "1" to select the issue of extending the sales tax to veterinary

5) Press "2" to "OPPOSE" the Veterinary Services Tax proposal.

And the address of the original article: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=100539251&ft=1&f=1017

Please, spread the word.

A veterinarian who is already far too weary of being "Dr. Death"
rchan: (MMPR -- worst day ever)
*eyes icon* Yeah... that about sums it up.

*waves to all the people she's missed* Sorry I've been absent lately. I've been immersed in the new job and the complete reorganization of my life. O_o;;; I've been busy. On the upside, the new job seems to be going well -- there is no comparison between it and the last job. Overall, I'm much happier. I don't know if it's a forever kind of job, but at the very least it'll make for happy transitioning. ^_^

So, why did today suck so hard? Let me tell you.

0) Two days ago my computer updated Firefox without asking me first... and ate all my bookmarks. So, I've been in a simmering state of angryirritatedfumingpissedthehelloff since then. That's just to start.

Now on to today.

1) I awoke at 8 AM (having fallen asleep at 3:45 the night before) and was unable to go back to sleep. :-P That's never good.

2) I decided to be productive with my time and make a pot of chili for consumption later on that night. I burned my chili. I'll repeat that. I burned my chili. I don't do that. Damned new stove. I knew I should have watched you more closely. *sigh*

3) When I went to wash out the pot, I discovered that no water was coming out of the faucet. *sweatdrop* I kid you not. I called my landlord who came right down. Turns out the problem was a busted water main. The town was already in the process of fixing it.

((Sidebar: while landlord was there, he finally told me that the reason that the stove vent doesn't work is that there isn't one, there never was one, and he might consider doing something about it in the spring. In short, I was told to buck up and deal. Butthead. :-P))

4) Now I have no food, no water and it's 11:20. I have to leave for work in 80 minutes and my hair is greasy and gross as I have taken no shower. I am not a happy chibi at this point. My mother passes me the suggestion to call my Aunt (who is now 7 minutes away from me) and ask to use her shower. Brilliant! I go to my aunt's house and shower. Then when I'm turning the shower head back towards the direction it was in when I got in the shower... it falls down on me!! *hangs head in shame* I was absolutely mortified. I wanted to cry. Here my aunt was nice enough to let me come over and invade her shower... and I broke it.

You see where this was a crappy morning? Fortunately, my aunt reassured me that it wasn't my fault, apparently that shower head falls down often. *sweatdrop* Then she and my uncle made me lunch and sent me home with food for later. ^_^ She also informed me that now that my three bad things had happened for the day (the chili, the water main and the shower head) that I was done with my bad luck and the rest of the day would be better. I love my aunt. ^_^ Fortunately, work was fine, albeit very slow -- all you non-vets... why does no one take their dog/cat to the vet in the winter? Is it the threat of snow? Too cold? Don't want to be bothered? What? O_o;;; Anyway, though the day was slow, nothing disastrous happened. Apparently my aunt was right. ^_^

And now I sit at my computer, employing my new Movie Edit Pro software to burn episodes of Power Rangers in Space onto DVD in real DVD format. ^_^ I will finish ARBAON, dam-nit! Now if only I wasn't so anal and could skip to burning the Zhane episodes... *sigh* Oh well, in time. ^_^

*snugs* 'Night!
rchan: (DNAngel -- crap -- sunrise.aoaki.net)
So... for those of you keeping up with things, I had a crashing realization today. I start my new job tomorrow. O_O

Night before first day jitters, anyone? *sigh* While I really needed the break from work, I admit that starting a new job when one hasn't worked for 3 months... is a little scary.

OK, it's a lot scary. And I'm still desperately afraid that I'll burst into tears the first time I see a sick kitty in the office tomorrow. Or an old one. Or a healthy one. Or any one. >.<;;; *wince*

But, on the upside, I'll once again have a paycheck coming in. That has to be a good thing, right? *unsure-but-game smile*

*glares downwards* Now, if I can only teach my downstairs neighbors that music -- especially loud music with a heavy base beat -- should not be played after 10 PM... we'll all be good.

*sigh* *ducks head back into Sentinel DVDs* *whine* When are they gonna release Season 2? Ever? :-P

((Oh... and the count is now up to 589... not counting any of the books at my parents house, any of my reference (read: vet) books or any of my manga, English or Japanese. *sweatdrop*))
rchan: (Melusine -- f**k me sideways)
Just a short note as the year draws ever closer to its close... I'm still alive, still kicking, feeling somewhat better than I was a month ago, even a week ago. And I have news.

I has a JOB.


A bona fide, potentially very lucrative, kick-a$$ of a schedule JOB.

*awaits for the confetti to settle down*

It's roughly a half hour east of my parents and uncle and 20 minutes east of my sister, but only seven minutes away from my Aunt Sandy. I have a signed contract in my grubby little paws that will be getting mailed out as soon as I get to a post office... and a stamp. Really. Who keeps stamps anymore? Whenever I buy a booklet, I use one and then I need to buy the little 1 cent ones to make up for the price increases every time I use them after that. :-P

*coughs* But, I digress. I will hopefully, be in possession (good grief that word looks wrong no matter how I spell it... O_o)) of an apartment by the time Thanksgiving weekend is up so that I can return to Delaware and resume the frantic packing. Of course, I was planning on bringing all the breakables home this weekend... but I was also planning on waking up this morning. O_o;;; I was not planning on playing Sims 2 (now that I have my desktop computer back) last night... until it was this morning. There is nothing like looking up from your screen to realize that yes, indeed, the gradual lightening of the room is due to the fact that you are seeing dawn from the wrong end. It was 6:55 AM when I hauled my butt from the computer and plunked it into bed. *sighs* Needless to say I didn't accomplish as much today as I would have liked.

But... but... I had found Tales of Symphonia Sims! And everyone knows that Tales is Luv. *nodnod* *wobble eyes* My only sadness is that they made the Lloyd Sim a teenager and the Zelos Sim an adult. ;_; Dam-nit. Now I'll have to hook Zelos up with Kratos. :-P

So... anyway. ^_^ Just wanted to update you all on the situation and wish you all the very best of times and a wonderful Thanksgiving.

*snugs* And a safe trip to any of you that are traveling this weekend!
rchan: (BH -- Marron_tomyface -- sunrise.aoaki.n)
...They do.

*sigh* So, I'm sure you all figured out (the three of you who actually read this LJ...) that I had to put Lilly to sleep on Rosh Hashanah (last Tuesday). The addendum to this, however, I wasn't up to sharing at the time. I had, quite possibly, the most ridiculous conversation with my boss in the history of such conversations.

The quick summary is as follows: )

And this culminated, obviously, in the termination of my employment. *sweatdrop* Honestly, I'm still stunned by the stupidity that emanated off those e-mails. But, really, to be honest, I couldn't be happier to be free of the Hellhole of life and spirit-sucking calamity. I've started the interview process in NY (6 interviews, at least 4 potential jobs out of the lot) and am fairly pleased with the prospects. So is my sister. And my parents. And my Uncle. And my Aunt Sandy. *sweatdrop* They're all fighting over where I should live when I come back. *headdesk* I just hope I get a say when all is said and done...

In other news... I had a very strange experience last night. This past Sunday when mom and I came home from seeing Young Frankenstein on Broadway we found a message on the machine (dated from who knows when) from Dr. Baum saying that Lilly's ashes were back and could be picked up at any time.

*cold water splash on day of fun*

Anyway, neither of us said anything about it and I wasn't up to going over there that day.

So... last night's weirdness. I kept feeling Lilly jumping up on my bed. I woke up several times during the course of the night, my heart pounding, certain I'd felt her little feet padding up from the foot of the bed and digging at the covers until I let her under them -- which, being half asleep, I did at least twice. But, of course, every time I opened my eyes, she wasn't there. And I dreamed about her all night long, something I hadn't done since her death.

So, needless to say, I decided that I should quit stalling and go pick up her ashes today. So, I told my mother I was going to go do just that. She then told me that I didn't have to... she's already done it for me. I froze in the act of moving towards the door and asked her when she had done so.


So, even though I didn't know until today, last night was the first night that she was back in the house with me... and she climbed right back into bed with me like she hadn't really been gone. *little choked soblaugh* Pushy little thing, just like always.


I have none. Just a warmsadhappyweirdflutterycrushing feeling in my chest and the memory of a kitty in my bed.

I love you baby girl... wherever you are. Feel free to come back again and hog the bed whenever you want.

September 2017



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